One of the main reasons for my trip to the Lake District was because I had just been diagnosed with stress and anxiety and the Doctor's said I needed space, time and exercise.
Exercise can relieve stress, anxiety and depression. People who are physically active have a 30% lower risk of persistent mental health issues. It can really help. I wasn't 'on holiday', or on a 'jolly' whilst winging it from work. I was taking action to heal my mental health. There I have said it. Do people seriously think that having been diagnosed the best thing for me is to lock myself away with the TV and remote? No. The best way for me to get well is to get OUTDOORS.
Walking really gave me time to think, to just be in the moment, to not worry about what has happened or what might happen. All I could think about was the stunning scenery, were we going the right way, were we dry enough, would we get back before dark. All these things made me realise that we are only ever living in the NOW and what a waste of time it is spending time on 'what if's'.
For all my life I have always thought the grass was greener, I have always spent more time worrying about what other people will think about me and my actions, when I should only have been concerned with how I feel about these things. So here it is; I love Bryan Adams, I love Take That, I love cheese & banana on toast, I love those cheesy quotes on tin sheets that everyone has nowadays, I love being surrounded by things that evoke happy memories. It may not be 'on trend', or 'fashionable' or 'cool'. But so there.
I realised that day that I have to start loving myself and all that I am before I am really able to move forward and decide what I want to do with my life. No more doing stuff because I want to prove something to somebody. I am not sure they really care anyway. 30 years I have spent trying to be somebody else, well now I want to just be me. So few people know the real me, just my husband, my two best friends and my colleagues at PGL.
That was me and I miss her.