We have to remember that the brain is a mahoooooooosive computer and sometimes we need to do that IT thing where you turn it off and on again. We need to press that reset button…
We have to remember that the brain is a mahoooooooosive computer and sometime we need to do that IT thing where you turn it off and on again. We need to press that reset button…
And this was exactly what I needed after an intense couple of days at the OS GetOutside launch where I came away excited, exhilarated and downright terrified! I am confident that I offended an Olympian (I’m sure I didn’t just my daft brain told myself I did), made a complete idiot of myself and ordered a whiskey (I loathe whiskey). I was poorly again, the anxiety had hit big time and I needed to get away. And the perfect place was already been booked, totally coincidentally. The Lake District.
Those three words have the ability to just make me stop and breathe. Along with the Black Mountains it is my somewhere; the place I go to to get my brain back in to working order. It enables me to get all those jumbled up jigsaw pieces back in to place.
The original plan had been to meet my new work colleagues and go for a days walking/scrambling. However it was patently obvious that I was not ready for this mentally, not at all. I wasn’t even sure that they knew I had anxiety so rocking up and explaining this, and then going out for the day was a bit too much to ask. So, I was honest, I said I was poorly and I would pass.
Instead I spent time with my other family; me best friend, her husband and their literally edible kids who as far as I am concerned are my niece and nephew. I read books, played games and got to take my ‘niece’ Hannah Boo up on to Barrow. It was exactly what I needed.
www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/get-free-online-therapy-should-you-use-free-counseling/That evening I headed down to Ambleside where myself and my colleagues were staying at the YHA. Set on the bank of Lake Windermere the hostel is superb. The last time I went was back in 1999 for the filming of ITV’s Wish you Were Here with Anthea Turner (I kid you not, we even had dinner with Anthea. We were however cut from the final piece). The hostel has had quite a makeover since then and the facilities are nothing less than excellent.
That evening, in the bar I explained to the guys exactly what my ’poorly’ was, and it was refreshing that they all just took it at face value and accepted. It still feels like I am ’coming out’ when I tell people. Daft really. But at least each time I tell someone it gets a little easier.
The next day I decided to get out for walk on my own, feel the wind under my wings and enjoy the last day in the Lakes. So I did one of my all time favourite walks from Ambleside over Loughrigg Fell down in to Grasmere where I met my best friends husband (he works in Grasmere - I know, how lucky!). The plan was to walk back along the Coffin Route to Ambleside but I spotted the open top bus and could not resist.
So, yep, a full grown adult on the top deck of the open top bus. I was outside, in the rain talking to my phone as I did a video (see below), getting the weirdest looks from the people up the front who were under cover. The journey was like a rollercoaster, I had my hands in the air and even managed to get a couple of workmen to wave back at me! Excellent. I highly recommend it to you all. Embrace you inner child, GetOutside and have fun!
If you feel you may need to access online counselling and talk to someone about your mental health then visit Better Help.